Brave New World

The transition continues.

No, I am not really becoming French, but I am starting to get accustomed to some more French habits and customs.
On the other hand, I am right now going through the phase of “everything was better back home”… Its called culture shock, it’s normal, and I know how to deal with it. Expose myself to more. Give it to me, France, I can handle it. This is not the first time that I am going into culture shock, and yet it always takes me by surprise.

But who am I to complain. I just spent my lunch break in the beautiful cloisters of the really cool museum that is just across the street from work. Since it’s free for students, it is a good opportunity to relax and enjoy the sun while drinking in some museum air as well.

So what to do? Be brave, I tell myself. Fight back. After all, I chose this, not the other way around.

Bonsoir de Toulouse

As I jumped on my bike this morning to pedal down the long road that leads to my workplace, I donned my sunglasses and breathed in the fresh French air. It only takes about 5 minutes of biking past still-closed shops (nothing opens before 9.30am, clearly French people don’t catch the early bird) until I am there and chain my bike to a heavy post. Never forget to do this in Toulouse, or you’ll be walking home.

I also ask myself every morning why I haven’t blogged so far. A bit more than two weeks ago, I packed my car, ate my last German lunch, and headed off to the sunny south of France. It was a long ride. More than 12 hours of listening to audio books that I bought on the road, eating whilst dreaming about sitting in a comfy chair, and finally trying to find my way in Toulouse. It worked out, I managed to arrive.

For the last two weeks, I have been working on improving my French, finding the best grocery stores and reading many many books. (I recommend the Stieg Larsson trilogy.)

France is different. I cannot yet list all the differences, all the little things that make every day life a little harder. Sometimes I feel like French culture is further from German culture than, let’s say, the United States. First of all, there’s the kissing. I swore I’d never get used to it, but Hello, I did! Now I’m irritated when I encounter other foreigners who clearly haven’t gotten used to it yet. Here, it is an offense to shake hands with a woman (unless she is your boss).  I will continue telling stories like that along the road.

Slowly I start to realize how much time we waste on silly things like gathering money and arming ourselves with things that boost our self-esteem. The coolest new computer, gadgets to be online everywhere all the time and despite all circumstances, shiny watches, fast cars, or even just expensive shoes. How much effort goes into holding up a picture, and how much effort goes into actually taking care of yourself? Why is it that today, one is considered lazy when not working more than necessary to ensure a normal living status? But no, the ones that work day and night are the ones who are the “heroes”.  But money won’t keep you warm at night. It doesn’t tell you a story so funny your belly hurts from laughing. It doesn’t give you self-esteem and certainly doesn’t make anyone a better human being…

Well, so much on that. Maybe it is because I see all extremes within my friends and family that I am going through an intense period of deciding for myself who I want to be. What is really important to me?

On verra.

Argh!

Argh? Yes, certainly!

It is sunny outside. Before 8am, I wake up, tickled by sunrays, the fresh air floating down on me. Birds are singing outside, and the rooster across the street seems to be high on hormons. Is spring actually approaching? I can see flowers blooming down in the yard. People start putting clothes on that will get them a bladder infection, just for the sake of feeling like it’s summer already. I can relate – I started wearing ballerinas. Regardless of the fact that it looks warmer outside than it actually is. But it feels good.

So why argh? Because I, instead of sitting down at the lake with a book (I’m reading “The road” by Cormac McCarthy) and getting an early-spring tan, I’m stuck in a seminar aaaall day long. I will barely make it home before the sun goes down.

Another argh. For the past two days I bravely walked to the Thai take-out place close to my house, money in hand, dreams of Thai curry in my head. And it was closed. First, I was too late by 15mins, and yesterday, it was closed. So tonight, I will try again, for the last f….. time. If something gets between me and my curry, I might just scream out very loudly.

Third argh. Instead of at least spending the lunch break at the lake, I have to go buy a PPT-Remote for my boss. Well, I reckon I can write down at least 1/2hour of work for that. And I feel useful. Ha!

Travel updates

What I kept from you is that after writing here that I really want to go see Carcassonne some day, I actually did go there and saw it! It was a pretty short road trip (although the “On the road” part wasn’t exactly short) but it was totally worth it. Carcassonne is as magical as it was in my mind. It’s not the most beautiful town, but it has character, and of course the Cité is just amazing. Since words can’t really describe it, I will simply post some pictures.

Of course this wasn’t the only place I travelled between August and now. A long weekend in Florence, a visit to the Spaghetti Factory in Zürich, Christmas in Hamburg, and then another trip to the south of France, this time Perpignan…and I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Yes, I’m a bit restless. Who can blame me? I live in a town where at 9pm, you could walk on the streets. That’s how quiet it is.

So here are some promised pictures! If anyone is interested, I am more than willing to post more tips and tricks for driving to southern France, what to do in Carcassonne and so on…

Lasso up!

I told you to bring your lasso, didn’t I?

Well. What about time, this weird construct that we humans put on ourselves? If the day wasn’t split into 24 neat hours, we wouldn’t be asking for a 25th hour. If we didn’t wear a watch around our wrist, we probably wouldn’t be hungry at the stroke of noon. The concept of time influences us, not always in a positive way. There are many ways in which time is very convenient – for example, when I count down the days and hours until I see someone again. Is there even an alternative to the 24 hour-model? Sure. Peoples before us did it, by using the sun, moon, the seasons, the light, as indicators for when it was time to do what. And most importantly, they had to rely on themselves, on what they felt. They ate when they were hungry, and no one needs a watch to know when it’s time to go to bed. Just listen to your body and check if you’re tired enough yet.

In this modern, fast-paced world, it is unthinkable to live that way. We stick to schedules, we even buy little black books to write down what we’re going to do. Spontaneous meeting? Sure, wait, let me just put that into my planner… Rumor has it that lawyers actually bill their clients in 6-minute-segments. (maybe I should have become a lawyer!) Although I have no idea whether this is true or just an urban myth, if I had to think in 6 minute segments, I would probably be ready to kill myself.

So how can one slow time down a bit and take a moment to actually feel time passing?

I feel that there are many ways to do so. When you get up in the morning, don’t just run to the kitchen and put the coffee on. Stand there while the coffee drips, or until your cool capsule-machine is done. See how it’s already making you impatient? Stay in the bathroom while brushing your teeth, don’t run through the whole apartment trying to pack your bag. All of a sudden, three minutes can be veeeeeery long.

But the best places to experience time are out there in Mother Nature. Sit by the ocean and count the waves rolling in. Waves can be quick or lazy, rolling or crashing, soft or fierce. Watch the sun go down, until it has actually dropped behind the horizon. It takes a while, and afterwards you will feel like it was over way too fast. Yet the best way is, I guess, to watch a cat sitting at a mouse hole, waiting. And waiting. Could YOU do that? Sit there and wait, although nothing might happen? I’m hearing “no”. But we all do it. Most of our lives, we just sit there and wait for some miracle to happen. Winning the lottery, finding the perfect guy/girl, getting the perfect job… Hey, life is what happens while you’re making other plans. So stop making plans and filling your little black book/BlackBerry/iPhone and live the life that is happening right now.

Hugh! I have spoken!

I’m having breakfast. It takes at least one hour for me to have a proper breakfast. Not because I eat so much, but because I sit there until I want to do something else. But I guess you’d have to be a student to be able to do that on a regular basis…. hihi.

..and here’s to a good morning.

After a relaxing night by the open window – you could almost hear the snow fall – I’m hanging out on my couch yet again. Yeah, I decided not to attend to my seminar and instead catch up on everything else. For example rescuing my music from my old iPod.

I managed to somehow leave my iPod shuffle and my Sennheiser PXC200 headphones in a hotel room in Cologne.. of course I called right when I noticed, and of course they didn’t find anything! Whoever found it must have been like “Yay, a free iPod!” – grrrr!

Since I also had to use my Product Recovery Disc on my Laptop a few months ago, I lost most of the music that I had. Some of it is still on my iPod. To my great excitement, the new iTunes copy actually accepted my iPod and didn’t tell that it’s already connected to another iTunes..(this happened with the shuffle!). Anyway, since it’s much more convenient, I used a small tool called “Music Rescue” to copy the music from my iPod onto my Laptop and add it to iTunes.. surprisingly easy. Well, I guess I will spend a bit of time on reorganizing music, and then I will have to decide which headphones to order. I’ve been dreaming about Noise Cancelling headphones for a long time now, and there is a Sennheiser model that is almost affordable – the PX300. The downside is, the noise cancelling thing is permanently attached to the headphones, so it’s a bit annoying if I want to use it for sports etc… I’m still not really certain on what to do. I guess I’ll collect some user reports online and then go with whatever feels right.

And yes, later on today I’ll talk about the flying time. Have some patience!

Good Evening, World!

For the past months, I completely forgot about blogging.

Yes, I had more important things to do, but I actually forgot about writing my thoughts down! It’s a little creepy. Many things happened since my last post, way too many to count or actually write down. So this will just be a “fresh start” and I’ll try to keep up my daily blogging like a sport.

So right now I’m hanging out in my room, where it’s nice and warm, as opposed to the snowy cold outside. It’s the middle of February and I’m already sick of the cold. As much as I love being outside, skiing, playing in the snow, it can become a pain in the ass for everyday life. But hey, at least we have a real winter this year.

I’m now in my 4th semester at University. Isn’t that crazy? Everything is moving so fast. To slow things down a little bit, I will take a “vacation semester” this fall. If everything works out as planned, I will spend half of this year in France – Toulouse, actually. If any of you people who read this have contacts in Toulouse – I’m still looking for an internship in media, museums, or any cultural institution for that matter.

So, for old time’s sake, here is my current list of book recommendations.

1. Carlos Ruiz Zafón – The angel’s game   – Anyone who has read “The Shadow of the Wind” will be longing for this book. It takes you back to the gloomy world of  Barcelona in the 20s and 30s, and the story draws you in like quicksand.

2. Annie Proulx – Fine just the way it is  – Annie Proulx is one of my heroes. Well, heroines. Her writing style is like the first blossom on a spring day, refreshing, sweet, and full of promise. This new anthology is full of her magical short stories, set against the backdrop of the rough Wyoming nature. Somehow, I want to go to Wyoming now!

3. James Joyce – Penelope: The last Chapter of Ulysses  – Yes, I think only 10 people in this world fought their way through Ulysses. It’s a huge piece of work and you get lost easily in the multitude of characters. But even if you don’t feel like unraveling American fiction, the last chapter is worth a try, if only for it’s structure: It contains only eight sentences, each many pages long. Feels like it’s written straight out of someones brain, after all, we think in a very unstructured way, too. At least I’m not too strict with interpunctuation rules in my head.

4. Stephen Clarke – A year in the Merde  – An Englishman who spends a year in Paris. That is a good recipe for desaster, and also for awesome tales about cultural differences with a country that is so close to us, and yet so far in many ways. For me it’s more research than fun reading, but it turned out to be fun anyway. Let’s just hope the waiters don’t strike as much in Toulouse as they seem to do in Paris. Ha, ha.

This will have to suffice for today – tomorrow, I’ll talk about time running and how to slow it down. Bring your lasso!

Long time, no talk.

Wow, has it really been over a month since my last blog post? Well, I guess there was a lot to do – and I had my hands full with living my offline life. There are, again, tons of things I would love to write about… but I don’t even know where to start.

Things are good. I am happy. Bright and shiny, even. It is a bit scary, I must admit, because I am never just happy and content. Sure, there are still some parts in my life that are really screwed up, and there are also parts which I should really start to improve soon – but in genereal, life feels good.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of things to do, and number one is to do some grocery shopping after my lecture and then fall asleep soon.

Oh dear.

I am back in my apartment. Yes, back in the city that always sleeps, the land of no fun. At least I have a really nice temporary roomate, who is French but speaks really good English – lucky me. It’s always fun to have someone to talk to!
So, well, there are many things to blog about. I could talk about how University pisses me off these days and how I wish I could just start working right now. I NEVER thought I would say that! But I really liked having a purpose over the summer, having a project, making people’s life a little better with what I do. And of course I enjoyed getting paid for it. But that stuff aside, I am a person of two extremes: I love lying on my couch watching some old TV reruns until I fall asleep and I love being active and working.

Next week, I’m being very active. First the whole moving business and then I’m working at the trade fair for a few days. That is going to be cool, and now the guy wants me to make his travel arrangements in advance, too. Sure thing! I love making travel arrangements for other people

I could also talk about how I got a little drunk last night and was really hung over this morning. Like, bumping into stuff and feeling like my apartment is gone because I DRANK it. That kind of hung over.
Yikes! But I must admit, the wine we drank was really good and we had a great conversation, too. Soo much fun.
I missed this. I missed all this freedom, my own rooms, my space, my stuff. Next time I go abroad for a longer time (which would be next summer…) I need to have a better apartment and more of my personal stuff with me. It’s the small things that count, you know?
Oh, and of course I missed my hamster. He is soo much fun!

Okay, there is, like, nothing productive emerging my fingertips right now. Yesterday I had the urge to write, write on my novel. And again I couldn’t do it. It just won’t come out! I am starting to believe that it would be easier to just live my goddamn book than to actually bring it to paper. Jeez! How hard can it be? Any tips on writers block? When every single dialogue is already there and you just can’t put it to paper? It may even turn out as a half decent pile of paper, and I really don’t want to let that go to waste. (Plus, I really do want to be published one day.)

I’m going to drift off into my fantasys now (getting published, opening up my own café, owning a farm, having my own exchange program, oh, and being rich of course). That’s much more fun than facing my depressing reality.

Bright and shiny

I defeated jetlag in less than two days! I would call that an accomplishment. Though I would normally not get up this early when I don’t have a real reason for doing so, I definitely am in sync with this continent’s time zone.

It’s very bright and shiny in the house this time of the day. Light floods the living room, there is no way to escape the shiny-ness. That’s good though.

The guests are gone, and now it’s just like back when I used to live here. I love visiting home, it is so relaxing and nice because I really do not have any responsibilities anymore. In my apartment, there is always something I have to do. And although I don’t get my laundry done here (at least not every single time, hehehe), it’s so nice.

I am going to turn on the TV now and see what’s new. It doesn’t take as long to scan the channels here, since we only have about 25, but at least I don’t have to see 95 infomercials for some great new drug.

Have a jolly day wherever you are right now!

(snapshot from our garden)