How to become a local
So, I’ve been in Boulder for three months and one week exactly now. One more week to go, and I’m finally starting to feel like a ‘local’. In my past stays abroad, I’ve had pretty much the same experience with this pattern. The first few weeks feel like a vacation, you try out new things, find out where to shop for groceries, grab a bite on the way home, get a good coffee and get a work out. But there are certain things that go a bit beyond explorations, things that you can do to make yourself feel at home. It isn’t always a cakewalk, being away from the people you love and being in a different culture. Not to fear, most people will cope eventually. Some quicker than others.
1. Find out where the locals get their groceries.
While they might be a Target with a big food aisle, a Wal-Mart, a huge Auchan or an Interspar in your area, try to hit the small stores. Down the street from me there is a small 24hrs store called “Lolita’s Market and Deli”. In fact, it has a great selection of every-day things, from ice cream to tampons, and it has a Deli inside, too, that makes great Breakfast Burritos. Yum. Whether I just need to pick up some pasta or want to indulge in some luxurious Talenti Gelato, I make sure to go there rather than a generic, big store.
Also, find the Farmer’s Market, if you’re lucky enough to have one in your city. When I lived in Toulouse, market sunday was a ritual for me and it made me talk to the locals, ask around where to find the best tomatoes or melons or whatever. I enjoyed going to the same old, wrinkly, sweet market woman every week, because at some point, she would recognize me and talk shop to me.
You’re also more likely to find local produce that way. In the face of a changing climate, buying local (and organic, in many cases) is really important. Seasonal, local fruits and veggies aren’t shipped to Wal-Mart, they are sold in your local grocery store.
I for one enjoy shopping at Alfalfa’s, a yuppie grocery store in Boulder. It’s selection is perfect, there is plenty of local, organic meat to choose from, they are friendly and they give me a discount for never needing a paper bag. They only downside is that it smells like a good old “Reformhaus”, but you get used to that.
2. Do what the locals do for a sport.
This doesn’t need to be a physical thing, if you’re not into that or cannot do it. After the tenth time of hearing “Oh, have you done the Royal Arch yet? It’s really beautiful!” it is really difficult to say “No, I hate hiking, but thanks.” I’ve elaborated enough on my deeply rooted hatred of hiking, but this was part of the reason why I started doing it anyway. Everyone does it. Of course, the locals just put some tights and tennis shoes on whereas I don my hiking boots and jeans most of the time, and of course they actually run up the trail instead of slowly putting one foot in front of another, but hey, better than nothing. I started this wondrous thing called ‘trail running’ a few weeks ago, but I didn’t get so far. And now the trails are a bit to snowy for my Five Fingers. Too bad.
If your town or country is hooked on a certain pastime, make sure to try it at least once. Go see a baseball game, have tea at a cricket match, go bungee jumping or learn the Tango. Whatever it is, you’ll be sure to meet people who can introduce you to more people, and pretty soon you’ll be able to participate in the discussions about the weekend’s game or trail or event. And that feels really good.
3. Become a regular at a café or restaurant (or both).
This is my favorite advice. I’ve become a regular at OZO Coffee and Zoe Ma Ma, conveniently located about 30 seconds from each other. One of the baristas at OZO actually knows my drink (it’s easy: a 16oz, 2% latte. To stay.) and starts making it when he sees me in line. This is super convenient – and cool.
And at Zoe Ma Ma, the b-e-s-t Chinese/Taiwanese place I’ve e-v-e-r eaten at, most of the cashiers know my name and I’ve risen so far that Mama gives me free potstickers. Yay. I simply love their food, so I come back every few days.
Becoming a regular gets you a ‘home base’. It doesn’t need to be a restaurant or coffeehouse, a bar will work well, too! If your fancy is an evening Gin Tonic, by all means, find a bar that makes a really good one and carries your favorite gin, get to know the barkeeper, and keep coming back.
4. Don’t be the comparator.
For a few weeks every time, I become the victim of the sentence “In Germany,…” Urgs. This is horrible. The urge to compare every single thing to how you do it in your home country keeps you from really appreciating what’s in front of you. Yes, it can be really interesting to compare customs and have discussions about the different ways of making tea or decorating the Christmas tree… but don’t do it too often. Don’t do it to prove that your way is “better”.
Back when I was an exchange student, I used this to make my feelings about certain things very clear. For example, I’d say “In Germany, we don’t only listen to commercial, crappy Christmas music, we like classic tunes and classical music!” – because I’m not a fan of the modern Christmas music and got annoyed with hearing it on the radio. What I meant: this is not really my type of music. What they heard: my country is so much better, our society is better, you suck.
Oops.
5. Study the language, if you don’t know it yet!
Okay, this IS a no-brainer. For me, being in America is not really a linguistic challenge (heh, heh), but living in France actually WAS a challenge. I took a language class, I did an internship completely in French, I tried to find French friends, I struck up conversations in restaurants and bars. Slowly, it got better. Now, France is a special case, you’ll need about six to nine months until a French person will actually consider you as more than just a passer-through, but many other countries are bit more open.
I’ve had a boyfriend who, despite spending almost two years in Germany, couldn’t speak a complete and correct sentence in German. You will most likely be able to get by without it and just hang out with the other expats or exchange students, maybe even with exchange students from your own home University… but don’t do that. You will regret it when you come home and realize that you have no one to visit if you go back to your host country.
Okay, so this kind of mixed the language issue with the friendship issue, but it’s very closely related.
That’s pretty much it. I try to live in the moment rather than miss what I don’t have. Obviously now that the end is near, I miss my apartment a bit more than usual, and I’ll actually be back there in almost exactly 4 weeks. That sounds like a long time, but it is not. I know that the minute I leave Boulder, I will miss it.
Nice post!